"Where Does Fear Live?"

I woke up this morning, like almost every morning lately, and fear was my first thought. As I lay there I pondered, where does fear come from? Why would I, for no apparent reason, wake up, and like my mind was on auto-pilot, start worrying? What was I worried about? Oh, you name it, and I was worried about it! But more important than "what" I was worrying about was the question of why was I worrying at all, especially first thing in the morning. I have learned by now to immediately counter-act negative thoughts with thinking positive thoughts, so I started making a mental list of all that I was grateful for. Then my mind wandered off and I started wondering, where does fear come from? Is it a full-time resident of my mind or does it just drop in now and then? And if it's just a visitor, an out-of-town guest, who invited it and why doesn't it knock before it barges in? And, if it's just visiting, and I hope that IS the case, "Where does fear live"?
My whole life, 43 years of it, I have lived in fear of one thing or another. I feel like I've been on a journey for awhile now, trying to out-run fear. Well today, I turned around, and I looked fear right square in the face, and I asked "them", because we all have many fears, where did you come from? The "religious" would tell me that fear is from the Devil, but I don't believe in him anymore! And, since my day of disbelief in a devil, who by the way, is constantly after me, trying to steal my joy (that's what I was taught in church), I've had a lot less fear. I know I've just stunned some of you with the statement I just made ~ look past it and read on. I'm not evil because I don't believe in the Devil! Boy, if that isn't an oxymoron. I've just read some really good books and have decided, for me, my belief in Satan only causes me more fear and doesn't serve me very well. That's a whole other subject we can talk about later if you would like.
Back to the star of this show, FEAR, I have decided, yes on St. Patrick's Day, to investigate this thing called fear. Where does it come from? Why does it exist? Why are most people riddled with it, to the point of having to take medications to lessen it's affect? Some people self-medicate with alcohol, in a failed attempt, to make their unwanted guest "fear" leave. So here I am again, bags packed (not really), tank full (of caffeine), lights on (but nobodies home), setting off for another adventure. Wanna come with?

To Be Cont.