Tao Te Ching

To know Tao
meditate
and still the mind.
Knowledge comes with perseverance.

The Way is neither full nor empty;
a modest and quiet nature understands this.
The empty vessel, the uncarved block;
nothing is more mysterious.

When enlightenment arrives
don't talk too much about it;
just live it in your own way.
With humility and depth, rewards come naturally.

Training our inner self is like forging lead;
nine times a blacksmith turns his dipper in the flame.
Yin and Yang, earth and fire
find their own harmony.
Precious metals and our inner pearl are waxed and
chamoised with the pass of days.

When the mind is empty, blue flame licks the firebox.

When there is no perveived difference
between square and circle,
light and dark in our minds,
we have attained the profound truth of Tao.

Everything should be as one:

Emptiness
Emptiness


~The Book of the Heart: Embracing the Tao~
by Loy Ching-Yuen

Great is Thy Faithfulness

I was up again lastnight! Tossing & turning, analyzing my to-do list and balancing my checkbook in my head. Worrying about bills that needed to be paid and Christmas gifts that precious children had on their wishlist. While I am sure I am not alone in this nightly ritual, few of us will admit that our worries visit us at night and rob us of our sleep. Although, I am very familiar with that old adage, "It's always darkest before the dawn", I find no comfort in it. It is dark outside and my mind is consumed with worry.
I finally get out of bed so not to wake the Dr. and I wander into the livingroom, turn on the TV, hoping to find something that will distract me from these lingering, worrisome thoughts. Of course, out of 500 some channels, I find nothing worth watching, and nothing to lighten the load residing in my mind. Atlast, I settle on a program that I am hopeful will 'settle' my mind. My stomach starts growling and so I decide to eat a little something. I go into the kitchen and get some tortilla chips, come back to my 'therapist', and start munching out. The crunch is so loud in my ears that I have to turn up the volume on the TV and so I sit, eat, and watch until I am satisfied and sleepy.
I return to bed, a little less worried, or atleast tired enough to drift off into oblivion. Next thing I know, I hear birds singing and I see sun shimmering through my blinds and it is morning. The first thought that comes to my mind is the scripture from the bible that reads, "His mercies are new every morning." I'm paraphrasing here because the actual scripture comes from Lamentations 3:22 & 23 and it reads, "It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness." But what came to my mind was "His mercies are new every morning", and the song "Great is Thy Faithfulness" was playing in my head. The worry had subsided with the night and the sun was coming up and everything was okay.
I know this doesn't seem like anything worth writing about but you have to realize, I have not been to church in about two years and I rarely, if ever, listen to worship music. So to wake up with a scripture in my head and worship playing background music caused me to take notice. I had studied the bible, at length, for years and so of course I got up and immediately went to my Vine's Expository Dictionary and looked up the word 'mercy'. I knew what it meant, but I wanted to get the root meaning. It basically means compassion. So God's compassion is new every morning, right?
That was not going to be enough for me! I don't know why but I always feel the need to dig deeper, like an old miner, mining for gold, I sift through the muck & mire for hours, for that one speck of shimmering rock. Why do the worries of the world comsume our minds at night but in the morning seem so trivial? Well, the scripture right before verse 22 says, "This I recall to my mind therefore have I hope." In the night, when all seems overwhelmingly impossible, I have to recall, bring back, into my mind all of God's goodness and yes, mercy. Mercy is God's unmerited favor. It is not conditioned by what you do or who you are. You cannot earn it. It is a gift. Therefore, you cannot take claim of it. You cannot buy it no matter how rich you are. You cannot store it up like a hoarder, and there is no reason to, because you are given a fresh batch of 'mercy' every morning.
So, where do we go from here? Will I wake up with worries another night? Probably, but the good news is, I will re-member God's words and I will have hope. No TV show or tortilla chip can give me solace, but his words are like manna from heaven, they feed my soul. Great is Thy faithfulness. I leave you with the words from this song "Great is Thy Faithfulness".

Great is thy faithfulness,

Great is thy faithfulness,

Morning by morning new mercies I see,

All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided,

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!

Bless Your Enemies

Roman 12:14 "Bless those who persecute you........."

Have you ever read this scripture and immediately responded outloud or with your inside voice, "Heck No!!!"? Well, I know I have! It is so hard to wrap our minds around this lesson. How in the world do you Bless those who persecute you? Well, being that I didn't understand this concept of forgiveness, God, or whatever you choose to label that all powerful force that we eminate from, was gracious enough to teach me this lesson.

Now mind you, I was not sitting at a desk, at the local college, with proper lighting, books, pencils, and such. No, no, I was taught this lesson on the stage of life. You see, we call into our lives the lessons we NEED to learn to BE who we were predestined to be, way back when we were still in the arms of our Papa. So, here's how it all played out.

My husband and I built our dream house out in the country five years ago, and oh were we happy the day we moved in. Little did we know that a lesson was about to be taught. You see, we moved into an all military neighborhood right outside of Jacksonville, NC. From the get-go, I noticed the neighbors were not so friendly, and then as the days passed they became downright hateful.

Now we didn't know them, had not, to our knowledge done anything to offend them but we were not welcomed and they made it painfully clear. Now I can take about anything, but one thing I cannot and will not tolerate is people being cruel to children. The neighborhood ladies, and I use that term begrudgedly, had a little club and we were not part of it and our children were not part of it. They encouraged their children to only play with certain "military" children and totally ostracized our children. This was so hard for me to understand being that I was not coming from a place of hate and anger, and obviously they were.

Well, I thought, I'll get'em. I'm gonna kill them with kindness and repay their evil with good. Hahahaha, the laugh was on me. That did exactly what the bible says it will do, "....place hot heaping coals upon their heads." Not what you want to do with individuals who already have an arsenal of hot heaping coals. These were obviously very damaged people and no amount of loving kindness, until they were ready, was going to penetrate the vault door that their heart lay behind.

Being only human, there were many times that I got angry, especially when the attacks were aimed at my children, and acted in a not so lady like way. I just didn't understand how people could be so cruel and exchange evil for good so easily. It was as if they enjoyed it! Like it was their favorite passtime. During this trial, I heard a quote that I'll never forget and it was, "Gossip is the cheapest form of entertainment." Wow! So, unfortunately, we were their entertainment.

I spent a many a night on bended knee because of their persecution of me and my family. We did not fit in, we were different. We had a different belief system, and although we didn't push it on to them or judge them for their beliefs or lifestyle, we were bullied because we were different. I cannot tell you how many hours, in the wee hours of the morning, that I scoured over the book of Psalm in the bible. The funny thing is it seemed like all the things God said would happen to people like them wasn't happening. It almost seemed like things were getting worse for us. I was like, "Hey, we're the good guys, what's up with that?" I have learned a lot since I made that comment to Papa.

Eventually, we moved on. We rented out our dream house, moved back home, and left that desolate place. That experience pushed me beyond my limits to a place that I never thought I could reach. That horrible experience, where I felt like I was being crucified on a daily basis, pushed me to become a better, more balanced, and grateful being. Out of such tragedy came a masterpiece. I finally got it! Yes, my lightbulb moment had arrived. I understood what he meant by "bless those who persecute you". Bless means "to be happy", and so, I was to be "happy" not for them, but that I had called them into my life to help me grow, evolve into a better person.

If they had not come, I would not have learned such a valuable lesson. I now understand more, not completely, Christ's Crucifixion". If his best friend had not sold him out for 30 pieces of silver, he would have been denied his God-given calling. If the Jews did not demand his crucifixion, you would not have your forgiveness. If the Roman soldiers had refused to beat and whip him, you would not have your healing, for by His stripes you are healed. If the Roman soldiers had not humiliated him while at the same time nailing his flesh to a cross, you would not have your deliverance. If he had called on 10,000 angels to save him, you would not have your salvation.

Bless your enemies, not for them, but because of them, you can be what you were predestined to be. We grow during the adverse times, in the midst of the storm. I grew from that experience and became stronger, more tolerant, and much more wiser. Their persecution lifted me up onto the cross I had to bear, and although I thought many times what Jesus said, "Abba, father, why have you forsaken me?", I know now that he was there all the while and smiling down upon his child, and oh so proud that I call him Papa.

Autumn Leaves.................

You know it's interesting....I was driving home the other day from work and I was admiring all the beautiful, colorful leaves on the trees by the highway. I was just taking it all in and then I had a thought. Leaves are at their most beautiful state when they are dying and getting ready to fall from the tree. It made me wonder why we fight aging and dying as we do. You know, I've just never seen a leaf struggling with turning a beautiful brilliant color, drying up, and falling away to the ground from whence it came. Maybe that is why it is so beautiful in it's old age, it dies gracefully. Grace.....what a rare and beautiful characteristic. Women, especially Southern women, use to have grace. I remember my "lady" teachers when I was in school! They dressed so elegantly and carried themselves, well, gracefully. I mean their nails were done, their real nails. Their hair was in place, not in a bun, but it had style. I don't know how I got on that tangent but there is alot to be said about grace. Well, as I look at these leaves of amber, purple, and red, I know that tomorrow some of them will be whisking through the air, not a care in the world, and will land where they may. I think we can learn alot from nature. Nature teaches us to go with the flow. Don't stress about getting older, it's a beautiful thing when it's done right. I think if we listened to our inner voice, listened to our ancestors, listened to the call of the wild, we would look and feel as beautiful as those leaves that we all travel so far to get a glimpse of before they fall to the ground. I want to age like the leaves, gracefully, knowing when it's my time, and looking more brilliant and beautiful than any green leaf ever thought she could!

Home Sweet Home

Home, Sweet Home



'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home;
A charm from the sky seems to hallow us there,
Which, seek through the world, is ne'er met with elsewhere.
Home, home, sweet, sweet home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!

An exile from home, splendor dazzles in vain;
Oh, give me my lowly thatched cottage again!
The birds singing gayly, that come at my call --
Give me them -- and the peace of mind, dearer than all!
Home, home, sweet, sweet home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!

I gaze on the moon as I tread the drear wild,
And feel that my mother now thinks of her child,
As she looks on that moon from our own cottage door
Thro' the woodbine, whose fragrance shall cheer me no more.
Home, home, sweet, sweet home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!

How sweet 'tis to sit 'neath a fond father's smile,
And the caress of a mother to soothe and beguile!
Let others delight mid new pleasures to roam,
But give me, oh, give me, the pleasures of home.
Home, home, sweet, sweet home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!

To thee I'll return, overburdened with care;
The heart's dearest solace will smile on me there;
No more from that cottage again will I roam;
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home.
Home, home, sweet, sweet, home!
There's no place like home, oh, there's no place like home!

John Howard Payne

As I was waiting for my pizza pie to be cooked on Friday night my attention was drawn to the restuarant's TV. They had the Glenn Beck Show on and Glenn and some christians were discussing how they felt that the "naturalists" were trying to brainwash our children into worshipping Mother Earth through teaching them to become more Earth-friendly. Well, being the open-minded person that I am, I sat down and I listened to what they had to say.



Their whole problem seemed to stem from their belief that we were not part of this Earth. I got the distinct feeling that they were saying we are above the Earth and all that dwells in it. Glenn Beck even commented, "I know that I am not part of a tree. I can appreciate the tree but I am not part of it", mind you, I am paraphrasing here! They all agreed, like I'm surprised at that notion, that we were created by God and so were these "things" but we are somehow different, better.



The lady, let's call her Rosa, summons me to the counter and hands me my hot steaming pizza pie and I head home to three ravenously hungry boys. All the while, and over the weekend, I keep thinking about this show and the thoughts and beliefs expressed on it. So this morning I get up and start my reading ritual and I start with the Tao Te Ching. I read verse 34 which kind of goes into this whole creation idea and I had a light bulb moment. I'm having alot of those lately and let me tell you they can be blinding at times.



The first thing I want to share is these few sentences from this verse in the Tao Te Ching and they are; "The great Tao flows everywhere. All things are born from it, yet it doesn't create them. It pours itself into its work, yet it makes no claim." I found this interesting because it clarified something someone said to me yesterday. They said, "God is everywhere and we are a part of him, but he didn't create us." Well, being raised Pentacostal Holiness my whole life, of course, at first I rejected this belief. Then, like always, I ponder on it, let it stew for awhile, and then if it's something I have called into my life to learn, I will usually get some confirmation a day or two later. This verse was that confirmation.



It makes perfect sense! If God created you than you would not be part of him. Let me explain, if I create a mug at the pottery class at the local college, am I in the mug? No! I believe what the bible says! I know, I know, you are all just gasping right now while I'm grinning! In the Bible, in Genesis chapter 2 Verse 7 it reads; "And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." So, we are a little more connected than Glenn Beck and his buddies would like to admit. We did come from the Earth but God breathed his spirit into us. That is why the bible says, "Do you not know that you are the temple of the Holy Spirit?" A temple is a grandiose analogy, when basically what God is saying is, you are a vessel, just like the mug!



So to sum things up, as I always do, your body is the mug ~ which is just a mug, empty and useless, until it is filled with the most delicious hot coffee you've ever dreamed of having touch your lips. We did come from the Earth, just like the clay that made the mug, and then God poured himself into us. You are part of him, just as much as the coffee in the mug is part of the coffee in the coffee pot. You came from the Source and you are still part of the Source. God says in His word, "Nothing can seperate us from the love of God." God is Love! You are Love! And whenever you step away from love, you are out of balance, you lose your peace, and you lose your purpose, because Sweetheart, you were made to love.



So when we walk in love we are living our divine purpose. When we take care of the Earth, we take care of our "mug"! The tree, the grass, the flowers, the water, the animals, they are all from the Source, God, and just like a fine piece of china that was given to you from a loving friend on your wedding day, you should treat it with respect and honor. What we treasure we protect. This Earth was not made for you to use up it's resources and defile it. It was made for you to enjoy and adore. All the beauty that surrounds you when you are in the middle of "nature" is a beautiful, living, gift from your beautiful living Mother. Treasure the Earth, love her and thereby love yourself.



I always find it interesting when people have to label something wrong or evil so they can be right or good!

The Son

I had a customer come in the office yesterday afternoon with her son, who was about my age, maybe a little older. As we are trying to select a memorial for her husband, of whom she was married to for 53 years, and who had recently passed away, her son reached over with his phone and said, "Have you ever seen anything like this before?" I looked at his phone and saw that it was a picture of a beautiful sunset. It was one of those sunsets that had all the vivid hues, you know, the pinks, purples, yellows, with a hint of blue still in the midst, just to kind of remind us that a beautiful day was passing away. The blue in the sunset to me is likened to the saying, "It ain't over til the fat lady sings!" As I looked at this picture, I looked at him and said, "Yes, I've seen a sunset like this before." He said in response to me, "This is what I saw when I died." He goes on to tell me that he had died for 8 minutes. I asked him what he experienced during this 8 minutes of what we label "death", and now I am going to share that with you.



He told me that he was being ushered to this beautiful sunset by two angels, one on each side of his arms. He said along with the view of the sunset there was a glowing white light. He compared the white light to the glow of a baseball field, seen from afar, with all the lights on at night. He said, along with the two angels at his side there were angels all around him. He had suffered from back problems his whole life and had recently gotten his back in pretty good shape and he said he could remember telling God to make sure the angels didn't just plop him down at the pearly gates because he had just gotten his back right. I thought that was funny! He said he saw one of his best friends and two other acquaintances. He said he knew who they were but he couldn't see their faces. I asked him, "Were you afraid?" He said, "No, it was the happiest moment in my life!" Dying was the happiest moment of his life. Now that's something to think about.



We go around this little Earth, day to day, worrying about such insignificant matters. We release all sorts of toxins into our bodies & brains, yes they are seperate, with worrying, hating, anger, and a whole host of other damaging thoughts and emotions. Then, we act so surprised when we are diagnosed with a whole host of medical problems, heart attacks, diabetes, high blood pressure, we are about to explode or should I say implode. Yes, it all starts with a thought, that attaches an emotion to it, and eventually you find the residual in the very fibers of your body. Sometimes, not always, a diagnosis of a disease, is just that, a dis~ease. Your body is saying, "I've had enough already!" As I look into the eyes of this man, I see beyond his eye color, right to his soul. He is at peace. He holds the treasure we are all seeking. He has, Peace that passes all understanding. Oh, how we all long for this. It's more precious than gold. I am looking into the eyes of a man that has no fear, how rare.



I know now, that yes, this man's mother was here out of a basic need, but he accompanied her for something else. You see I have been, let's say, struggling with the whole idea of God, religion, other religions, and other beliefs for the last two years. I really don't like to use the word struggling because it's been more of a pilgrimage, a journey, my journey, than anything. You see, I set out on this pilgrimage because I had NO peace. I was going to church everytime the doors opened, playing by the rules, and still NO peace. I quit religion, not God, but religion ~ and I went within. That is what the bible calls the Temple of the Holy Spirit. It says, "Do you not know that you are the Temple of the Holy Spirit?" So basically, I quit church and started attending the Temple. Isn't that what we are suppose to do anyway, Attend to the Temple. In other words, take care of you! Go within, clean out your own closet of skeletons, deposit good positive things in, and mind your own business. Cause I guarantee, you got some business to mind to.



So what happened to me in the presence of this enlightened one, this buddha, which by the way, means "enlightened one"? I got what I had been searching out for the last two years ~ a connection between God and what we like to label the New Age movement. You see, there has been this great chasm between the two, but I knew that there would be a connection somewhere, someday. God is the God of all things. He sends down his rain on the just and the unjust. His words ~ not mine. So, this was God's messenger. It really is whatever I choose it to be. I choose to believe that this was a messenger from God letting me know, yes Aleece, I am real, the angels are there and here, and you have nothing to be afraid of. I really needed that! I had started to get quite jaded with the people that claim they represent God. I started not liking God. I thought if he's anything like you than I pretty much don't want a relationship with this guy. But yesterday, I saw God. I saw God in the eyes of someone that had recently gotten very close to him. I felt peace and love in the presence of this messenger.



I finished helping his mother memorialize his father. He went outside to smoke a cigarette, probably thinking, what the hell I've already died once. He came back in for a brief moment to walk his mother out the door, and I watched them drive away thinking to myself, does he even know, that his dying......saved my life.

Behold ~ Your Creation

We are angry,
So we created an Angry God.

We are jealous,
So we created a Jealous God.

We withhold blessings from others,
So we created a Merciless God.

We hate,
So we created a God who hates.

We fear,
So we created a God that instills fear.

We are lofty,
So we created a Lofty God.

We are judgemental,
So we created a Judging God

We are punishers,
So we created a Punishing God.

We are controlling,
So we created a Controlling God.

We are possessive,
So we created a Possessive God.

Oh if we could become Lovers,
Then maybe, just maybe, we would create a Loving God.

"Man created God ~ in HIS own image."

"It was there.....all along"

It is amazing when you discover ~ that which was before your eyes the whole time ~ when you look at it from a different place. It really is all in where you are positioned. It's like losing something very special to you and you look and look for it but to no avail. It is only when you change positions, get down on your knees, that you find what you thought you had lost.

"A Hole in My Heart?"

"What you can describe ~ is not the indescribable."

I am sitting here, drinking coffee and reading "Eat, Pray, Love" and it is fabulous. It amazes me the plethora of tools, avenues, and passages that "God" uses to reach me. It draws my eyes and attention to a piece of art hanging in my home. It is the painting by Micheal Angelo of the two out-stretched arms. One is limp, just hanging there, as to say, "Whatever?" and the other is strained, reaching out, wanting so badly just to touch the tip of his finger. You know I've heard many times, in my years of being involved in Christianity that, we all have a "God-shaped hole" in our hearts. This statement begs the question, "Maybe, just maybe, we are such a part of God, that he has an "Aleece-shaped hole" in His heart. I'm just casting my line out......let's see what I catch.

"We are all, and that means everybody, just fragments of God."

"Spiritual Welfare"

First and foremost I would like to dedicate this piece to an awesome new found friend. John this is dedicated you. Thank you for inspiring me on a daily basis and for inspiring this piece.



It's Sunday Morning and I'm doing my morning rituals. No, I'm not bustling around the house, like a chicken with it's head cut off, searching for the perfect Sunday dress that will be sure to impress all ~ I mean God. I am sitting quietly in my living room, drinking a cup of coffee, and I am surrounded by a plethora of books. What books you might ask? Well let's see, I have "Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire by Deepak Chopra, Living the Wisdom of the Tao by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer , In the Frame Helen Mirren "My life in Words and Pictures", Conversations with God, and the Bible, yes, the Bible. Excuse me for just a moment, while I light an incense in the lap of my Buddha ~ yes, Buddha is here also. I also have beside me, and I might wear it later, my Tallit, which is a Jewish prayer shawl, which was given to me by a Rabbi.

I am telling you all of this just to bring you into my world this morning ~ just a glimpse. I am sharing myself with you ~ a true gift. Okay, back to why I am sitting here and writing to you. Last week over a cup of coffee, with a new found friend, the subject, among many others, of salvation came up. It brought to my mind a Scripture from the Bible that comes from Philippian 2:12. In this scripture, it has a line in it that reads, "continue to work out your salvation", it goes on to say in doing this, do it with "fear and trembling". My friend and I were discussing how we believe everybody is responsible for their own journey, their path to enlightenment (which just means to lighten up), their salvation. I studied the Bible for years, I mean really tore it apart, read many translations, investigated each word straight to the root. I never knew why I did this or why it was such a passion for me at the time ~ now I know and that's a whole other story I will tell you some other time.

Getting back to this subject of "working out our own salvation". Let me share what the concordance at the bottom of the page of the N.I.V. Bible translated this scripture to mean. For those of you who don't know what the hell a concordance is ~ I will sum it up for you like this ~ it's an explanation written by a bunch of smart people, we will call them scholars, for those of us, myself included, who cannot, for the life of us, figure out what the heck these people were trying to impart to us! That was maybe the longest sentence I've ever written! It reads; "work out your salvation" meaning; Work it out to finish; not a reference to the attempt to earn one's salvation by works, but to the expression of one's salvation in spiritual growth and development. Salvation is not merely a gift received once and for all; it expresses itself in an ongoing process in which the believer is strenuously involved in the process of perseverance, spiritual growth, and maturation. Whew!

Now, as far as the "fear and trembling" part, it just mean "with reverence". You can relax now. So in a nutshell, you are responsible for Your-Self! Unfortunately, religion, especially Christianity, has become "Spiritual Welfare". Let me explain. Every Sunday, we all get "gussied up", thinking we are so "suchie much", and go to a building called a church, and we wait patiently, some more patient than others, for our "leader" to instruct us on how we should live. We wait for our "leader" to give us his or her translation of the Bible, and then put it into a message, that leaves us feeling either condemned or all gooey inside. It's either to one extreme or the other, never balanced. Then we leave, often we've given them our 10% (our moola) and feel good about ourselves for the rest of the week until we all meet again. What's wrong with this? Nothing, if that is all you require. I myself do not want someone to hand feed me my sustenance. I want to work ~ no welfare for me! Because, now listen to me, when we work out our own salvation ~ it is ours ~ your journey ~ my journey!

Happy Trails!

"Around the Mountain"

During my morning readings I came across a notion, a thought, an idea that I want to share with you. I was reading "Conversations with God" Book 1, which I've already read, but occasionally like to go back and read as I would the bible. The section I was reading was talking about fear and love. God is saying, that every decision we make comes from one of two emotions, either fear or love. This book, among others, has actually opened up a better understanding of the bible for me. That statement alone will usually buy me eternal damnation in the eyes of many Christians, because they believe, as I did once in my life, that the bible is the only definitive book and information highway on God. Well, as I am reading about the journey from fear to love I am beckoned back to the story of the Israelites journey out of a life of bondage in Egypt, to the land of milk and honey promised by God. If you've ever read the story you know that these hooligans spent the good part of 40 years wandering in the desert and going around the same mountain, when in reality, whatever that is, the journey to the land of milk and honey was a short distance. So, I started thinking, God help us all, who said that? What if the mountain represented Fear and the land of milk and honey really represented Love? Do you really believe that these people were so inept that they could not navigate this short distance across the desert? I believe this story has a much deeper meaning. I believe that the Israelites spent those 40 years in the desert by choice, and that choice was fear. What did they fear? Well first of all, they feared something new. They had been comfortable slaves, eating their leeks and onions in Egypt, for years. They feared the unknown. What was this land of milk and honey? Certainly, God did not love them enough to give them such a place. They had grown lazy and complacent. So, they begrudgedly start out on this journey that from the get go most of them don't even want to go on and the one's that do have the job of being "cheerleader" to the ones that don't! A sure recipe for disaster! They leave Egypt and then spend the next 40 years complaining, going around in circles, lost, and most of them die there. Do you believe that most people, due to their fear and insecurities, and lack of love, go around the same mountain all of their lives and usually die on that mountain of fear? I do! I believe some die clinging to their mountain of disappointments, resentments, jealousy, anger, and regret! When all the while, the land of "milk and honey" was just a short distance beyond that desert, that mountain, they just had to believe it existed and change direction and go!

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Lao-Tzu

Spiritual Vertigo?

I woke up yesterday morning about 3am and the room was spinning! No, I was not drunk or drugged out. I was experiencing Vertigo. If you've never experienced Vertigo, good for you, it's horrible and very scary. Vertigo is characterized by the sensation of motion initiated by sudden head movements or moving the head in a certain direction, usually caused by an imbalance in the inner ear. Now going into my second day of the vertigo experience or should I call it the "vertigo experiment", I decided to look into this condition a little deeper. As I read about the symtoms and causes of vertigo I immediately started linking it to the condition of our soul, as all things are linked to our soul. So, when we get this condition "vertigo" it is usually because of a physical imbalance in our inner ear, and it causes extreme dizziness, not-so-clear thinking, blurred vision, and sometime nausea. When I relate this physical condition to a soul condition, I see that the same symtoms occur on the soul level when we get an "inner imbalance". For example, when we focus too much on "things", we get out of touch with our spirit, our soul, and we start feeling "dizzy", like something is wrong but we just can't put our finger on it! I personally think God let's us experience physical ailments, sometimes, to show us a picture of the conditions of our souls. Sometimes ailments slow us down, and we think and see things much more clearly. I know this sounds a little paradoxical, being that my ailment causes what would seem, the opposite of clarity. But even with vertigo, I am seeing something on the spiritual realm that maybe I was over looking before. Simply this, we are made up of Mind, Body, & Spirit, and when we neglect one of these components we are out of balance. We find it difficult to navigate through life, just like I find it difficult to walk to the bathroom right now without holding onto the walls in the hallway. So, I embrace the "Vertigo Experience" and know that it will pass, as all things do, but I will hold onto the lesson I found within it, like a treasure dug up from the dirt. It is mine, and now .......it is yours!

"You have not ~ because you Asked"

You know that verse in the bible that reads; "You have not because you ask not." Maybe, just maybe, that was misinterpreted. Maybe what was really said or meant was; "You ask, therefore you have not." The act of asking for something implies that you don't have it, that you are in need or lack. When truth be known, you have all that you need, it just hasn't materialized as of yet. I have made a resolution to only pray prayers of gratitude. I have all that I need, even if I don't see it. If I can visualize it, think upon it, before I know it, I will have it, be living it, experiencing IT! I make two gratitude list daily. One is titled, "I am grateful for" and the other "I am grateful & happy now that". Now the latter of the two may look as if it implies that I'm not going to be happy until this or that happens or comes into my life. What it really means is I am calling forth what has not yet materialized. I am taking a leap of faith. Calling those things that are not as if they were. I have a gratitude list in my journal dated 11.13.2009. It is my "I am grateful & happy now that" list and I had listed eleven "things" I wanted to show up in my life. I looked through that journal about a month ago and seven out of the eleven "things" I had listed were all around me. I was living in the house I wanted. The yard beautifully landscaped like I had visualized. I had the jacuzzi I wanted. I had the relationships I desired. I called forth, through the act of gratitude and faith, most of what I had on my list. The other four are coming and I can't wait! Live the life you have dreamed of!

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible to you." The words of Jesus taken from Matthew 17:20

"Be Careless Shugg"

My Aunt Jeanette (my middle name) used to always tell us girls as we were parting company, "Be careless Shugg". I never really understood this. I just thought she meant to say the word careful, but didn't. Now I think I understand or I just choose to believe that she really meant, Be "Care-less". I think we have become a society that is too "care-ful". We have all sorts of worries! We are worried about disease, money, war, our children, our future, and a whole assortment of other anxieties. They even have labeled this "condition" as a disease and are more than willing to put you on a plethora of medications to supposedly help you no longer "worry". I choose to be care-less! Remember the saying, "I could care less"? Well, you could! Do not worry about tommorow, for it has it's own worries. Jesus said, "Do not become entangled in the worries of this world". I think he was on to something there. So, everyday, I try, sometimes successfully, not to be so "care-ful". So in passing, if I ever say to you, "Be careless Shugg", you will know what I mean and you will be blessed for the reminder. Be Care-less Shugg!

"Roll Call ~ Nobody's Present"

I was going to see my mother yesterday, and on my way there, a tricked out red Trans Am kept swerving into my lane. I wanted to get away from Mr. "I'm living in the 80's", like I have room to talk, so I tried to pass him quickly. While passing him I realized why he was swerving so much. He was busy texting while driving! Now I realize that he is probably much more talented than I am, and can totally drive while texting, but more than the obvious neglect this individual was demonstrating, something else was even more evident. Of course, initially, I was perturbed at his total disregard for the safety of those driving, walking, or biking around him, but actually, my predominant thought was, "No one is Present anymore!" It's true! No one is present anymore. I am even guilty of this! We all committ the sin of multi-tasking, and I'm not really sure why. We have the same amount of time as always but we feel this compulsion to do 50 million things at once. It's like if we stop and really focus on one thing, our minds would blow up! Or maybe, for some of us, stillness, presence, means thought, and we don't want to think about anything. We use the TV to escape, FB to pretend we have a social life, and video games to take out our frustrations on, or just imagine we are doing whatever our avatar is doing. Everyone is doing and going so much, but are we really accomplishing anything or going anywhere? I know some of these "modern evils" are necessary but I'm not sure they are benefiting us to the extent we give them credit. I think we all, including myself, need to slow down, smell the flowers, and truly appreciate the moment. The moment could be drinking a cup of tea. But to be really present drinking that cup of tea. Like, feel the warmth of the cup in your hands. Smell the aroma of your brew. Drink and really savor the flavor. Really take the whole experience in. I know this sounds quacky, but try it and see if just for a moment, you actually slowed down, truly appreciated the gift, a cup of tea. Time for Roll Call ~ are you PRESENT?

"Where Does Fear Live?"

I woke up this morning, like almost every morning lately, and fear was my first thought. As I lay there I pondered, where does fear come from? Why would I, for no apparent reason, wake up, and like my mind was on auto-pilot, start worrying? What was I worried about? Oh, you name it, and I was worried about it! But more important than "what" I was worrying about was the question of why was I worrying at all, especially first thing in the morning. I have learned by now to immediately counter-act negative thoughts with thinking positive thoughts, so I started making a mental list of all that I was grateful for. Then my mind wandered off and I started wondering, where does fear come from? Is it a full-time resident of my mind or does it just drop in now and then? And if it's just a visitor, an out-of-town guest, who invited it and why doesn't it knock before it barges in? And, if it's just visiting, and I hope that IS the case, "Where does fear live"?
My whole life, 43 years of it, I have lived in fear of one thing or another. I feel like I've been on a journey for awhile now, trying to out-run fear. Well today, I turned around, and I looked fear right square in the face, and I asked "them", because we all have many fears, where did you come from? The "religious" would tell me that fear is from the Devil, but I don't believe in him anymore! And, since my day of disbelief in a devil, who by the way, is constantly after me, trying to steal my joy (that's what I was taught in church), I've had a lot less fear. I know I've just stunned some of you with the statement I just made ~ look past it and read on. I'm not evil because I don't believe in the Devil! Boy, if that isn't an oxymoron. I've just read some really good books and have decided, for me, my belief in Satan only causes me more fear and doesn't serve me very well. That's a whole other subject we can talk about later if you would like.
Back to the star of this show, FEAR, I have decided, yes on St. Patrick's Day, to investigate this thing called fear. Where does it come from? Why does it exist? Why are most people riddled with it, to the point of having to take medications to lessen it's affect? Some people self-medicate with alcohol, in a failed attempt, to make their unwanted guest "fear" leave. So here I am again, bags packed (not really), tank full (of caffeine), lights on (but nobodies home), setting off for another adventure. Wanna come with?

To Be Cont.

"We damage people when we try to fix them"

I realized something! That's something to be grateful for, isn't it? When we "try" to fix people, like we could, that's laughable in itself, we damage people. First of all, we make them feel that there is something "wrong" with them, or why else would we be "fixing" them. Second of all, we place ourselves above them, and therefore we are looking down on them, which makes them feel judged and inferior. Most people just want to be listened to. If they ask for your advice, give it with no attachments, no control, and please no judgement. Don't let your ego put you on a pedestal, looking down on all those poor lost souls.....it's a long way to fall!

What is our sickness?

Only sacrificial love can save us from our sickness! What is our sickness? What is our disease? We are sick and dying from the cancer called narcissism. Narcissism; self-love; excessive interest in one's own appearance, comfort, importance, abilities, etc.. It is the sin of separateness. When we become consumed with "ourselves" we forget that we all came from the Great Spirit and we have never been separated from His love. Nothing can separate us from His love. "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."

"You Can't Fight Crazy"

"You Can't Fight Crazy"

Just remember when confronted by a dysfunctional behaviour "You Can't Fight Crazy"! Combating a "dysfunctional force" with the weapons of destruction will never work! Both will be annihilated! It's like Chemo-therapy ~ Let's induce lethal chemicals into her body to kill the cancer. Two negatives will never make a positive. The body is destroyed along with the cancer! Both ships go down!

"I am Blessed"

I woke up this morning, stretched, and breathed in air deeply, and I knew, I am Blessed,

I walked down the hallway with my own two legs, and I knew, I am Blessed.

I awoke my three princes from their slumber, and saw their sleepy faces, and I knew, I am Blessed.

I came into the kitchen, where my husband stood with my cup of coffee ready in his hands, and I knew, I am Blessed.

I sat down, with my cup of coffee, took my first sip, breathed the moment in, and I knew I am Blessed.

I picked up this pencil and was able to pen these words of gratitude, which is the highest form of prayer, Thank You, and I knew....I am Blessed!

"You Make My Feelings?"

Watching a news program and the reporter asked, "Didn't that hurt your feelings?" It made me ponder...how can someone "hurt" our feelings? And it brought back a memory of Tucker, my oldest son, saying to me, when he was three or four, "You make my feelings"! That actually makes more sense than "you hurt my feelings"! How can you hurt a feeling? But give someone enough control and power over you ~ they sure can "make your feelings".

Lost & Found

I remember that day so clearly. I was driving home, down a winding road in the country, and just "thinking", there has to be more! There has to be more than religion, and all that I was taught in Sunday School. I had been going to church my whole life, searching for happiness, and here I was once again, not happy, not fulfilled, very confused, but lucid enough to know....there has to be more! Little did I know that in that very moment of lucidity, I called into my life...more! Just by thinking and then stating, "There has to be more", I was essentially asking for more. More of what? Well, in that moment, for me, I was asking for more of the truth, the rest of the story. I knew something was missing and I guess I was asking God for that missing link or puzzle piece. You know that verse in the Bible, "The truth shall set you free?" I was asking for freedom! Freedom from fear, freedom from guilt, freedom from condemnation, and a whole host of other rules and regulations I had been tethered to, by religion, my whole life. I just so desperately wanted to feel good! I was so tired of feeling bad about myself and everything around me. I just couldn't do it anymore! If their way, the religious sect way, was the "right" way, then something had gone terribly wrong. All my life I felt like I didn't belong when I attended church. Of course, their answer to this dilemna would be that there was something wrong with me. I always felt like I was swimming against the current in the great river of life. Always trying to be something I was not! And now I know, that is precisely what was happening! I was trying to "be"" instead of just "being". I'll get into that, the state of being, a little later on. But, to sum things up for now, who I was meant to be, the whole reason my soul took this journey, was because my soul was desperately fighting to get on the path I needed to be on. That's why I never fit in! Bingo! Our soul tells us in so many languages where to go, but we simply do not listen. Or, we never get quiet enough to hear it's oh so gentle voice. There is a verse in the Bible that says, "But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. To him the doorkeeper opens, and the sheep hear his voice; and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out." The problem is, the sheep cannot hear the shepherd, for all the bleating they do! Most often, we are too busy, or too loud, to hear our own hearts desire! The one thing that would bring you true happiness is living the life you were intended to live, before you were ever born. You were predestined for greatness! "Before you were formed in your mother's womb I knew you." (Jeremiah 1:5) There is an AWESOME plan for your life and mine, but somewhere, somehow, we got off course. Which brings me back to the day I was driving down that winding road and essentially prayed, through my thinking and words, for MORE! "Ask and ye shall receive." And so I did, without even knowing it, I brought into my life the truth. The rest of the story. "Seek and ye shall find." I came to the end of that winding road and so began my journey. This book is about that journey. Come with me..... I have a wonderful story to tell you.